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Rightback - November 2006

Dancing Farce

November 29th 2006 23:27
I couldn't help but be repulsed by the final of Australia's Dancing with the Stars. The competition was eventually won by Anthony 'Kouta' Koutoufides in a grand final dance off against Arianne Caoili.

Now cudos goes to Kouta, but my major 'erk' is with the petulance of the judges on the show, in particular Todd McKenney. McKenney took great joy in tearing down the young chess master Arianne. For those who watch the show I've no doubt they would already be aware that Arianne repeatedly struck back at Todd via a taped retort between each show. This only seemed to anger Todd more and in turn Arianne received a judging backlash. Eventually Todd went as far as painting Arianne as a cheat, for having done as much as having dance lessons in the past and not revealing it to the viewers.
Todd Bad - Arianne Good
The Devil and Arianne



The sad thing is the result was a foregone conclusion and poor old channel seven didn't really give their sponsors a fair go. I've got to admit I was in the middle of my bubble bath when the winner was announced. I had gotten wiff of the conspiracy a long time out.

My informers have told me that Arianne didn't endear herself to fellow competetitors, and her lack of celebrity star power has also added to her downfall. Do Todd and the toffs want a previously unheard of chess master to come up along and sweep the floor? I think not. There was also the comment on final night from Todd that 'tonight we judge on how far the dancers have progressed over the ten weeks'. This seems in total conflict with the Kostya Tszyu final where he was obviously the most improved from day one to final night.


Further evidence of the immaturity of the judging panel was the way they persecuted anyone they believed not to be putting in sufficient hours of training, ie. Chris Hemsworth (Kim of Home & Away fame).

I'm absolutely appalled by this result. The best dancer never seems to win this competition and the show will suffer. But then again they are just a panel of spoilt toffs, should we expect anymore?
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Kangaroos for hire

November 23rd 2006 01:28
It's official the ARU have gone into panic mode. Australia's Wallabies are experiencing woe on their tour of Europe with defeat from Wales and Ireland, and a close shave against the Italians. Embarrassing.

As a result the press have already told us of an impending raid on rugby league ranks which David Gallop (NRL boss) has branded as immoral. Well lets forget the morality side of things and focus on the ARU's alternatives.

Next year is the 2007 Rugby World Cup and losing to Ireland and Wales, (all respect to them) is not an encouraging sign. Another problem for the Wallabies though, is that the usual 'rape and pillage' of rugby league ranks is going to be difficult to undertake with any significance toward the 2007 World Cup. Lets get it straight, most of the NRL players have contracts set in stone and to break them would mean breaking the ARU's bank (hard to believe possible) because they will need at least six 'top notch', 'A list', 'ten outta ten', 'fabbo' league players to be competitive at France 07.

Kangaroos for Hire
Wallabies second rate


One other option for the ARU is to politely ask their favourite league players "can you please help us win the World Cup in 2007". This sounds far fetched and demeaning. However, if you take a look at the schedule of play for France 07 you will notice that the kick off of pool matches begins at the end of the regular NRL season, so the Wallabies could quite easily draft in a few of the top notchers. Not every big name makes it to the finals series, for instance Joey Johns at Newcastle. I can't see much happening there next season so we can pen in Joey for pool match one against some Asian qualifier.

And in even more positive news for the Wallabies or Wallabies fans because the current crop of Wallabies wont actually be Wallabies come World Cup 2007. The knockout phase doesn't start until after the NRL grand final. That means the likes of Darren Lockyer, Greg Inglis, Mark Gasnier, Justin Hodges, Shaun Berrigan, Anthony Minnichello, Matt Bowen, Jonathon Thurston, Willy Mason, Mark O'Meley and umm . . . Nathan Fien will definitely be available for borrowing.

fad dangals touch football
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101 Reasons to be Depressed

November 18th 2006 00:31
What is the story with 'poms'. They're at it again. If it isn't Rugby League players having to go home with excuses of being overworked, it will be cricketers telling us they can't cope with being away from their 'sceptered isle'.

The events of the last fortnight have prompted me to come up with a list of reasons for being depressed based on your place of birth. In Australia we have an endearing phrase that gets a great deal of airplay when describing the character of Britain's inhabitants. We call them 'whingeing poms'. And the performances of Marcus Trescothick and Sean Long recently, only serve to reinforce the famous Australianism.
whingeing pom
I want me mummy!!










Without any further ado, lets see if I can come up with some better excuses for not wanting to get my backside paddled by an Aussie sporting team.



1. My dog ate my passport
2. The beaches in 'down under' don't have the same characteristics as beautiful Blackpool.
3. Umm... Glenn McGrath has made me his bunny.
4. Mark O'Meley plays for the Kangaroos.
5. Sometimes they say mean things to me when I'm playing, and I'm nervous and scared and a bit worried that my helmet isn't real strong too.
6. People in the grandstands call me rude names.
7. I don't like flying long distances.
8. It gets really hot and it's summer. I just came from an English winter guv'.
9. It takes a really really long time for my body clock to adjust . . . and you know with the jetlag and that.
10. Everyone back 'ome thinks we can beat the Aussies gaffer', and I can't bear to dissapoint them.
11. The wife only married me coz she finks I'm handy at this batting caper.
12. I've heard that there's crocodiles and all those jungle animals walking the streets.
13. We teased 'em about being all children of convicts an 'nat. And now they're angry.
14. When I left the 'ouse I fink I forgot to turn the box (tv) off.
15. Forgot to take the clothes off the line.
16. I gotta cook for the wife.
17. The missus needs me at home coz she gets lonely if I'm not there for more than a week.
18. Robbie Williams and Elton John are doin a one off gig for some charity, and I gotta set the video for the wife.
19. There's a war in Iraq, and I fink we 'ave to fly through a no fly zone.
20. I can't speak Australian.
21. When I get hot I sweat. And when I sweat I smell like a dirty old pom.

Okay that last one was I bit nasty but I just couldn't come up with any more excuses. Maybe if there are some Brits online you could help complete the next eighty excuses for dogging it. Or maybe you're an Aussie with a spare minute. Help me to help our whingeing cousins from the mother country.

fad dangals touch football
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Ever since the 1956 Olympics Victorians have been telling us how their state, and capital city (Melbourne) is the home of sport in Australia and possibly the world. As an outsider I get the feeling they're having themselves on.
Okay, Melbourne attracts huge crowds to the spring horse racing carnival, and week in week out people fill stadiums to watch Australian Rules Football. But seriously who outside of Australia knows what AFL is, personally I've lost count of how many times I've had to explain to foreigners what this version of football is all about. And as for the spring carnival I've heard stats on how many interstate guests are at the spring carnival and it's over thirty percent.
Bill Lawry
Victorian to the Core

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Click Here And WIN Big!!!

November 6th 2006 10:59
GOTCHA!!!
If you haven't read this blog before you would probably think that you've been taken for a ride by another internet phoney. For those who have, I know they wait in eager anticipation for my tips for the Melbourne Cup.

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Who Will Win The Melbourne Cup?

November 5th 2006 07:07
In my previous blog I promised to help my readers put themselves in the running to win tens of thousands of dollars. At current I'm still going through the process of narrowing down the contenders and the pretenders. That post will appear in around twenty four hours.

However, some people I understand will simply want to pick the winner of the Cup for bragging rights in the workplace or at home. So this post will provide you with the opportunity to tell the rest of the world who will win and why


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Melbourne Cup-Date

November 4th 2006 12:36
The barrier draw for the Cup is complete and all is set for the crowning of a new staying champ on Tuesday. For the last three years we've seen Makybe Diva dominate the great two mile event, this time however, things are different. 'The mare' is no more, and Australia awaits for a new champ to stand and deliver.

Listed below are the runners in order of barrier


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Fiendish Ploy a Lesson to All

November 2nd 2006 12:04
Lets hope the events surrounding Nathan Fien's dismissal from the New Zealand national side serves as a deterrent to other would-be traitors.

We can now be assured of Fien carrying a notoriety with him for the rest of his career. And I'm pretty confident the Mt Isa born Queenslander wont be getting any chances of throwing on a green and gold jersey either


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